This is Mine. This has now turned into my travel blog. sometime i may not make sense and you will just have to bare with me.. staring at a computer screen is a buzz kill. the photos will be mostly mine.

A new year approaches

How does the year go so fast?
this was suppose to be the year I had been waiting 2 years for and now that is 3 years ago?
This is my 24th year, my almost mid 20's year, the year my little newphew is welcomed into the world, the year i go home, the year i travel Europe.. this is the 1st NY in a long time where i wont look back on the year amd think to my self " What the fuck did i do this year?" because if i did then i am instantly refeshed of all the amazing things that happened to me this year.
If i go right back i remember the rough times.. Khalan, my beautiful niece that never got to be, a scare with a breast lump, another scare with potential cervical cancer, losing all my loved belongings to some dickheads in Peru. I think this year has actaully been the year i have cried the most since i had depression but it has also been the most fullfilling year, i have been and done so much, never laughed, smiled, shopped, got high, got drunk as much as i have this year.
Its sad to think that it is over but i am half way through this experience so not all is lost, i am still going to look back on 2012 and feel like i accomplished something.

The Winter Chill

Fuck me its cold.

Like almost ready to go home cold.. but i dont have any money.

I keep on forgetting that i need to write about things that i am doing here, if i dont i will forget and this blog for this portion of time is meaningless... to a point anyway.
So i went on my first pub crawl the other night, Christmas themed,  I had a really good time, stole some candles, had a mayo fight and got told one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me (not entirely sure that that sentence made sense, Fuck it).
I dont really want to go on about it but when i look back on this i want to remember it and remember the feeling of being so shocked as it totally took me by surprise. My new friend Patchy, right.. we have this relationship where we play hate one another, basically like the relationships i share with most boys.. anyway we had been pretend fighting all night when at one of the last bars he tells me that i am a "waste"..  now when i heard that i was like " EXCUSE ME?" - doing the usual banter however he continued  to tell me that i was a waste that no one had snatched me up and that i was still single, he told that i was really personable and it that he couldnt believe that i wasnt taken.. this would seem creepy and like a slight pick up line if he hadn't been in a relationship but he is and very happily i might add so to hear this it really made my night/ week really. So there is it the nicest thing someone had said to me that came out of nowhere.

Moving on... I went Ice Skating at Tower of London with Chico, Tess, Bridget and 2 other lovely girls that i cant remember their names.. Saw Chico fell, the funniest thing i have seen in a while, he is such an athlete but when it came to ice skating the kid couldnt find his bearings. it was fantastic.

We had our party. A close call with the cops. A lot of permanent maker drawings on my back. Some very bad photos they will not and should not be released to public. Men dressed as women. People dressed as pigs, cats, preists, devils, Princess, Nuns, School Girls.  My first back hand slap across some dudes face. Some lesbian hitting on me and a very bad confetti gun.

I went to a free gig for some Sth African Band.. they were ok but it was free so i did mind so much.
I have been the poorest i have ever been in my life and quite worried that i would not be able to pay for rent as i didnt have a job. I never want to be that poor again.
I had a sunday session in Camden. I danced in a box to the Spice Girls in Shoreditch. Played Jenga in a Music store.

I am sure there is more and i will post photos but right now i am cold and i need to turn the light off and go to bed.

There is no escape. You can't be a vagabond and an artist and still be a solid citizen, a wholesome, upstanding man. You want to get drunk, so you accept the hangover. You say yes to the sunlight and your pure fantasies, so you have to say yes to the filth and and the nausea. Everything is within you, gold and mud, happiness and paid, the laughter of childhood and the apprehension of death. Say yes to everything, shirk nothing, don't try and lie to yourself. You are not a solid citizen, you are not a greek, you are not harmonious, or the master of yourself, you are a bird in the storm. Let it Storm! Let it drive you! how much have you lied! A thousand times, even in your poems and books, you have played the harmonious man, the wise man, the happy, the enlightened man. In the same way, men attacking in war have played heroes, while their bowels twitched. My god, what a poor ape, what a fencer in the mirror, man is- particularly the artist- particularly the poet-particularly myself!

Today was a good day..

How about this week has been a good week...
Firstly its Friday tomorrow, when i was unemployed i used to want that feeling of knowing it was Friday the next day and then the weekend.. i have no idea why.
when that alarm goes off on a Monday morning i really dont want to get out of bed and remember the days when i used to wake up at noon, stroll to Granville or go lie in the sun somewhere, see some shops, buy some things and make my way back to home for when Jame got there or even meet her at work, score some treats and do something random and now its a massive struggle to get out of my warm bed and into the cold house, into some cold clothes and onto the cold street, on the hot tube, into the cold street and to the luke warm office only to repeat later in the day HOWEVER i am enjoying the new job, sometimes my teacher is a bit rude but i imagine she is just as frustrated with me as i am with her.
I get to wear casual clothes, i get good pay and i am 30 minutes door to door so i have got it pretty good.

secondly i got paid today so after forfeiting all my pay to rent last week i can live breezy this week, having 1.63 pound in your account isnt the greatest of times but this evening when i thought i would just double check to see if it had gone through even though i just checked at lunch i was super happy as i would have had to walk home- 1hr10mins mind you... the kicker was that is was raining when i walked out! god i was happy i got paid, making silly noises and doing little jigs throughout the tube station because i was so pleased the gods were on my side.
Got home, made myself a real dinner for a change. good, good day.

Thirdly i got a new door.. doesnt sound that appealing but as i have the coldest room in the house with the largest window/door it is very nice to not see your breathe when you speak.

what else... I finished my scarf - nice big chunky one, i got my photos delivered, i got an appointment for my NI number, I saw Nick, I finished a whole chunk of emails that i was suppose to send a while back, i paid my money to the kitty account, finally received a pillow i brought a month ago from Cobrasnake and i have laughed a lot. mostly at Carlie and MTV.
oh and i finally got a post done, like a decent one, i feel like i havent done this is a while.
So it has been a good week, i think i will be sorting out my funds and savings next week, figuring out when i want to travel and when i will be coming home or when i will go back to Canada.. so much to think about and i am looking forward to going through it all again.

Good times ahead and behind.

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