This is Mine. This has now turned into my travel blog. sometime i may not make sense and you will just have to bare with me.. staring at a computer screen is a buzz kill. the photos will be mostly mine.

I don't think i stop missing home, i am always completely aware that i am not in Sydney.
and this is what i miss.

I miss La Push.
I miss u29.
I miss OAF.
I miss my brothers.
I miss Barbie.
I miss Bone.
I miss Benace.
I miss Danielle.
I miss Soph and Mads.
I miss Mark.
I miss Vlad.
I miss Fran.
I miss Browne and Mel.
I miss Snow white - even though she wont reply to an email and i put her last because of this. tough love.
I miss my mountains people
I miss Sluzz Hillz.
I miss my Doona. 
I miss Randwick Sushi.
I miss the Harbor.
I miss Mumu.
I miss consistency.
I miss my wardrobe.
I miss a steady income.
I miss good tap water.
I miss the Beresford nights and that one time we went at 2 in the afternoon.
I miss the hugs and kisses.
I miss Bunny.
I miss movie nights.
I miss the hangover hangout.
I miss the 'lets go get junk food and hire movies even though it is beautiful outside because we are hungover/still drunk' sunday's.
I miss that the days are generally beautiful over there. i take it for granted.
I miss getting lost and finding something new.
I miss Frankie and Russh.
I miss Michelle.
I miss Cuffy.
I miss taking the mattress out by the pool on a saturday and having a few drinks.

Literally don't know why i just did that to myself.
lets do a rebuttal?!

I don't miss waking up at 7am.
I don't miss walking to and from work.
I don't miss a shitty transport system.
I don't miss being in the one place all the time.
I don't miss Hamilton Island. well some of it.
I don't miss being broke from saving.
I don't miss the price of clothing.
I don't miss being tired from working 2 jobs.

and i am sure there is more that i don't miss however i cannot be bothered to think about them right now.


A very fleeting journey to Berlin. 3 days.
It was a fun and messy.
I thought i was going into a reasonably quite time with my unit 29 buddies however upon arrival i hear that it is one of the last nights of Van Tour and although the whole convoy wont be there i will still experience a slice of what Jane and Zo, or should i say Nath as VT calls her, have been living through for the last 3 months.
1st item. Pub crawl
We leave at 10 to 9, it started at 9 and as most boys do they assume that this is enough time for us to catch the train and get involved. it is not. we spend at least 30 mins figuring out what platform we should be on and then 15 mins on the trains and then another 10 mins finding the bar.
10 o'clock and we arrive and as suspected a little bit too late, the executive decision is made and we will do a pub crawl tomorrow instead and just get drunk tonight. We are standing outside a empty bar but the question goes around as to where we should drink.. in the end the boys stumble on the idea of walking 3 steps inside.
1st round, 6 Jagerbombs.
2nd round, 3 Wodka and lemonades. (German for Vodka)
3rd round, 3 Tequila shots.
and this was all in the space of 90 mins.. maybe.
So try and imagine 17 people, give or take, pretty much doing the same routine in the same amount of time with other substances in a empty bar.
havoc. within 3 hours of meeting these people i had already entered into a game of Strip Fooze ball.
So i was wearing all my nickers, stockings, shorts and a shirt. Blondie wore a bra, leggings, singlet and a shirt.
The rules were that the defence had to take an item of clothing off when the opposition scored and then you switch places with your partner and so on.
1st goal lost, My partner gets her shirt off
2nd goal lost, I take off my stockings- which i might add requires me to take off my shorts first.
3rd goal lost- Liago loses his shirt
4th goal lost, Blondie needs to take something off but this requires her showing a lot of flesh so because i love her i tell her i will take off my shorts, my shirt was long enough to cover my bum.
5th goal lost, if i take anymore clothes off i am basically naked as i am wearing see through undies, top and bottom but so will Blondie as she isnt wearing any. She tag teams with Nath but that doesnt help the cause either so the boys come to a compromise... If i flash them they will call it a draw.
needless to say we drew that game and did not start another.
Last drinks are called and we all pile out into the street. One thing that i love doing- its weird i know, is punching guys BUT i ask them first and give them time to tense their muscles so its not like i go around the street punching random guys, i think i do it mainly to see if a girl my size could cause pain if i was attacked So i end up punching a few of the guys and then Dyl asks if he can punch me back, he asked nicely and to be fair i did punch him so i said yes. I tensed my stomach and immediately after i thought that i should def not agreed to this again or at least get them to punch my arm. This makes Dyl sounds not so nice but he was lovely and Marcia said she would take care of him if he got out of line..
Next club and its all a bit hazy, we dance to techno,we drink a lot more and i make out with 2 boys.
First Night done.

As you would think we woke up quite late the next day, got ready and headed out to see Berlin.
We got a map and followed it around to we saw quite a few things but because everything was in german, funny that, we didnt really know what we were looking at and we just guessed.
We did make it to the Berlin wall though, had a very over priced lunch, got harassed by a german man trying to sell me a fox fur hat, got a giant pretzel,  saw the jewish memorial and saw Berlin for exactly what it was, Beautiful.
We come home around 6pm to find everyone had basically just woke up. We hang out and then decide to watch a movie, we get into Whitebait with 5 in the bed and watch Man on Fire.

The last day!
As we had a early night everyone manages to get up early for the free History tour we wanted to do that day. We get lost a bit on the way but still manage to arrive on time.
Most of the tour comprised of things that Zo and I had seen the day prior but this time we actually knew what we were looking at.
Our tour guide Amy was really good and i learnt a lot about the history of Berlin, it was so nice to be in a country that is older than a couple of hundred years, i definitely want to learn more about it.
When we finished we went on our own Alternative tour, we went to this strange building that was 6 or so storeys that was packed with artists and graffiti, it was crazy but so unique. We all loved it.
Dinner was next, Buffet Sushi for 11 euro, we all stuffed ourselves.

As i had a early flight the next day we left the 'campsite' and drove closer to the airport.
It was the most time i spent with both my girls at the same time and while i loved the boys and all the stories i wish i got to be with them more, it was just like they said, we had been apart for 4 months but we just slipped right back to where we were. just like that. easy.

Berlin is somewhere i recommend you see and i have a feeling i will be saying this about most places but its truly is so beautiful, a city reborn.

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars"

Our relationship was short and fleeting prior to the trip.
We had known each other for maybe 4 days in total and most of the time we were drunk so there wasn't much bonding happening but i guess there was enough to make this happen.
One night in Melbourne and 2 years later it began in Dallas, Texas. 
2 Skype calls in-between and countless emails was the extent of our relationship.

This crazy, vegan, gypsy girl was my good luck charm, she seeps it . She got the car contact, she got the Vegas contact, she has a openness that i have never really experienced before.
For someone that has gone through so much in her life, so much that if it happened to me i don't know if i would have the strength to carry on, she makes you want to be around her, she is excited by almost everything that she does and sees, its almost childlike. She wants to see the world and she wants you to be there with her when she does it. 
We didn't fight. We didn't bicker- unless you count our last night together when we got into a fight about shoes and bare feet and ended up storming away from one another only to be reunited 10 minutes later before she got in a fountain at 2 am..
We laughed. a lot. 
She wants me to try new things and sometimes i do, something that i didn't really do in the past which i am trying to get better at.
Sometime we disagree but thats healthy, people cannot always have the same opinions about everything.
She is my opposite. I don't like poetry. She breathes it. I love music. She isn't fussed. I need space, she works with clutter (something i am trying to change). I love cheese and Fish too much to be vegan. She is a raw vegan..she is crazy. i hate exercise and only do it when i am trying to avoid public transport. Jaymee will wake up after 4 hours of sleep to bike to Boot camp, Yoga and then back home to shower to bike back to work again. She likes to expand her mind in a illegal way. I think its illegal for a reason. 
leaving her was hard.
She is so "Up there'"and i am so '"Down here'". " Just get on your back, Seriously.. I am right here, just get down here"
So we are  very different but we work so well together. She is such an amazing travel buddy. Us on public transport is bizarre, its like we are instantly drunk or something and we become ridiculous. i love it.
cars, buses, boats. anything we just go weird.
A reunion date is about to be made. Burning Man 2012! Epic times ahead, also a road trip around Hawaii, Aloha indeed.
i don't know what i expected out of this but i know we have both got more than we had ever imagined.
Quite simply, I love her and leaving Jame was really hard. 

I mean, they say you die twice. 
Once when you stop breathing and the second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.

So i have about nearly given up which isn't good because i just made the decision to stay for a year instead of the original 6 months, either way i will have to start prostituting myself to live.
Its back and forward. I stay at home to find somewhere to live and nothing happens so i go out and buy clothes to make myself look presentable for when i get a job but all the time i think about the decreasing bank account and the fact i could be missing potential places! 
I am such a debby downer. 

I love London though. East London to be more precise. The fashion, the culture, the music, the street art. It's a fantastic place to be and i guess i am using that as my motivation, like why the fuck not, what could possible motivate me more than that?

At the end of the day I am fine and everything will be fine. it could be worse and besides the fact i am homeless and nearly broke this is such an amazing time and experience, no matter what happens i will look back and remember that although it was hard and frustrating it was also really fantastic. A whole new world there for the taking.... its just taking its time.


write a song. don't skinny dip aloud a road trip.hitch hike.ride a bike.take photos.             let life slow.
smell the flowers.drink on a sunny afternoon.wind the windows down.go to a movie alone.have a picnic.feel the sun.don't lie.make spontaneous.   jump in.learn.find a lost.find your way.
rise early.go to bed late.go for seconds. breathe deeply. 
talk to strangers. have more ice cream. make mistakes. make no regrets, just lessons. relax. 

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