Sleep. is not coming again but for a different reason tonight.
usually i am just not tired enough or i am thinking about all things that i still want to achieve while i am over here, the things i am still to see and the time that i have left to do it in.
Tonight was different. I dont know why, it just was.
When i find it hard to sleep i watch something, check my facebook and all that shit but i havent written in a while, its what i used to do before i travelled to get things off my mind and clear the slate.
An email from a friend is now keeping me up. How do you ever console someone from a computer screen? Tell them that Death is apart of life and yes it's true and it will inevitably happen to everyone but it all comes down to time.
I would like to say that time heals all wounds but i am not sure that it does, maybe the feeling you felt will numb and come time again when you lose someone else just as important in your life those stitches you used to close the last wound will be torn right back open again.
All of a sudden i lie in bed thinking how trivial all my 'problems' were in comparison to anothers.
It is the circle of life and i hate that i forget how easy it is for something to be taken away.
While there is still so much to be seen and done i am proud that i am not taking things for granted. This is all i have, this time and while i am missing a lot from back home... my nephew or just generally happenings i know i will look back and know that i am doing exactly what i need to be doing right now.
i dont even know if this makes sense, i just needed to write something. gather the thoughts.
You are a pure inspiration, i like to think i am strong for how i dealt with things in my past and how i overcame them but you are leagues ahead of me.
You have strength i wish to have for my future when i have to cope with what you have been through and are continuing to go through every day.
I love you. I am thinking of you.
9 months ago