I keep meaning to write a post that sums up what is happening over here.
This part of my life has been really important for my growth and i know i sound like a massive wanker but i feel like i am finally becoming who i want to be and actually knowing it is happening is kinda cool.
I essentially haven't changed, i will be the Tracey that everyone knows back home but improved. I have gained a new confidence over here and i have no idea how to explain it but i feel much more secure in myself then i ever have.
Take me back to 3 years ago and i would not have thought i would be living and working in London.
I really want to take advantage of everything that is happening over here, i want to go out on weeknights and see that amazing act in a Open Mic night, i want to go to the pub and watch a football match, i want to be excited when my new team wins, i want to embrace the cold, i want to have shit days over here so when i good one comes along i know i will appreciate it, i want to miss home because i need that feeling so i get back there, i want make mistakes with boys so i know what i really want.
Last year really tested me, in basically every single way right up until the end and while some very shit things happened i will only remember the ones that will impact my life for the future.. my bag getting stolen? what of it, i don't laugh at that situation and i doubt i ever will but it was such a lesson to learn and while i could have done without the heart ache i rarely even think of it anymore.
I guess what i think now is " how the fuck will i top last year?" but i guess thats not really the point is it? i could never compare last year to what this year is going to be, the only way i could would be to do exactly the same thing over again which i would never do.
I found a home i didnt think i would ever have here. I found a family in my flatmates and i am finally finding myself.
11 months ago