This is Mine. This has now turned into my travel blog. sometime i may not make sense and you will just have to bare with me.. staring at a computer screen is a buzz kill. the photos will be mostly mine.


Lets try and sum up the last couple of months living in London.

Oxford was pretty crazy, it was also very lovely but yes quite random. It’s the quickest bus ride up there where you slowly get out of the busiling city of London out into what I consider the real England- Rolling hills and Thatch-roofed houses.

When we arrive Carlie’s Dad’s cousin meets us with his wife and son in tow to show us around town.

It was only a few hours away but I never felt more away from London than here, this town is ridiculously old, so much history and prestige.

Andrew showed us to all around Oxford University- Dinning halls, libraries, court yards, churches, the shop where Howard Marks (Mr. Nice) ran his drug business from the basement, locations where Harry potter was filmed - the exclusivity of it all made me feel so out of place, we were paying to get into these old beautiful buildings and kids my age and younger were living and learning here, apart from when I was in Seattle looking at Washinton Uni and all the frat  houses this is the only other time that I have wanted to go to uni.

We wondered around town a bit more, sat in a park and had lunch- the weather so sublime, it was so lovely to feel the sun on my face and have it actually heat it up for a change and then headed back to their house to watch the union and then take a nap- the result of a boys night the previous night where I didn’t get to sleep till 5:30am because of how loud they were.

Andrew and Jan got a babysitter for the night and then took us out to dinner- being wined and dined  was a really nice change, I love my boys back home but it was lovely not to talk about boobs and farts for a change. 2 bottles of wine later and we  move to the next bar and the next and the next.. Andrew and Jan leave us after the 2nd place and let us run free for a bit.

The night ended in Carlie and I in Trinity Collegue( the most prestigious collegue with 2 young kids that clearly thought that they were going to get lucky) doing handstands and cartwheels on the ever so overprotected grass, asking if we can join a houseparty and then me “borrowing” the poor guys shirt to never return again even though he specifically asked me not to steal it… oh and I also twisted my knee falling over in the last club and then hurting it more with the cartwheels.We rolled in the door at 4am.

Next morning was horrible, the mix of work drinks and no sleep on Friday night and champayne, wine, tequiela shots and double vodka’s on Saturday night was not a good mix.

I check my phone and see if I did any damage and notice I messaged a boy called George, do I remember this boy? Not at all, Carlie and I have a bit of a laugh and try to put it all together but give up as we don’t remember anything.

Breakfast, a quick trip to a museum and then  3 hours of sitting in the sun was the summary of the Sunday.When we arrive back in London I got a message.. it was from George! The pieces still didn’t fit. We got home about 5pm to hear the news that Arsenal won agaisnt Tottenham – of course they won when we werent here.

So Oxford was pretty fucking fun.








The week before Oxford was a pretty exciting one, My newphew was born- the cutest little tike in the whole entire world and then the same day I was seeing a lovely lady from home, Alice.

We met in Camden for a few drinks before going to see Cloud Control and Dog is Dead at the Electric Ballroom which was such a fantastic show, its was quite cool to think back and know that I would never have expected to be watching Cloud Control- a small mountains band playing in London- where I live with my new London friends and an old friend from home. Surreal.

Once the show ended we went to continue the drinking at the Lock Tavern and then the last stop being Joe’s. I love Joes. Nick took me there once and it is this tiny bar where they play 50 and 60’s all night, the lights are dim and the guests are dressed to impress. Alice, Emily and I did the only thing there is to do at Joe’s- Dance.

It is nights like this that make me love London, to randomly catch up with a friend from home, pay £2 and dance.







Saturday night gets a little hectic as they always seem to do with our house.

All we were supposed to be doing was going to the pub to watch 19- Twenty, an musician from back home. What it turns into is 3 bottles of wine between 2, running around the pub, knocking over drinks, passing out on the couches, heading home to interupt the neighbours having sex, hitting a bong and waking up still drunk.

Good times.





The week prior to that I went and saw the Black Keys- AMAZING.

We got there early enough to see the support, Band of Skulls who were really good- I might add that the weather was ridiculously cold outside and this I will expand on later.

The Black Keys come on an it was such a good show, for only 2 guys they know how to give a good time. Before the show had offically ended they had played everything that I wanted to hear except my favorite song.

They come back for their encore, drop the biggest disco ball you have ever seen and proceed to play everlasting light. It looked like a 80’s disco in there. It was my highlight… besides feeling so magical after the performance we walk outside and there is a think layer of snow… it was like a dream, we didn’t know it was coming and it was cold enough but I didn’t think it would be this much.

It was just one of those things that just never happens. I smile just thinking of it.













Still so much to write!!!



The weekend it snowed. Saturday the 4th of February. The day we didn’t think was going to come.

The boys had a FOOTBALL DAY that day and we won like 7-1 or something ridiculous so they were in good spirits- drinking from 11am will also do that to you and us girls plus Matt went on a cultural day, Tate Museum, National Portrait Gallery and the National gallery.

I quite like doing the cultural thing but I don’t really know if 300 year old paintings are up my alley, I enjoy the more modern art and photography but either way it was a good day.

Heading home I literally thought I couldn’t be colder, it was so fucking cold and I could never explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it themselves. I felt as if I was running around in the snow naked but colder.

Anyway we head home and the boys are all happy and drunk from the win. Bridget gets a message from Claudia- one of the girls we were with earlier, it is snowing at Oxford Circus.

Oxford Circus is only a 15 minute tube ride away. The snow is coming.

We wait and wait, constantly looking out the window.

To do a massive recap as the night from there on in was amazing and exaclty want I wanted.

It snowed, we took pictures, we waited for it to snow more and took more pictures, the boys ran out in their underwear, we started a snow ball fight with some kids on the block- they were very vicsious  and I think Chico lost that battle, we met the neighbours across the road- had a fight with them, invited them around for drinks, decided we needed to dismatle Steve’s Skateboard and use it as a snowboard, snowboarded outside!!

It made the last 2 months of discusting weather and cold nights worth it, it was a long lead up and I really did think I wouldn’t get to experience snow in London but it was fantasic.





















The week before that consisted of a gig seeing Lianne le Havis at the Social with Matt and his lovely cousins- Lianne was phenomanal, I could literally wrap her up and give her all to my friends as a present as she was the most adorable performer I have ever seen. And that voice. Pure heaven



Weekend PROIR to that was very bizaare and got way out of control.

Carlie and I wanted to have a calm Saturday so we went to check out the Portabello Markets in Notthing Hill.

We picked up some amazing Brie and bread, saw a Banksy that I use to have picture on my wall back home!!! And had lovely day not being hungover and seeing the sights of london and making plans to  go there in the summer time.

Chico’s bday had been on Australia day and he didn’t really to do anything to insane  so we thought we would have some drinks in Finsbury Park, I suggested we go the bowling alley for a few games and a couple of drinks then we could move on.. nice and easy.

We rock up to this place and get searched on the way in, not something that happens at your average bowling alley, we continue to walk down a silent hallway till we get to the end where there is people everywhere.. we have stumbled on Finsbury Park’s hot spot. Young, hot and trendy people everywhere. We pay for our games and almost immediatley agree this is not going to be a quite night.

We have a hefty wait so we all gets some drinks and settle in.

We are all still shocked at how many people are here but eventually we get a lane.

By this time we were drunk and began to be those people that should be kicked out but arent, running around like crazy, using very excplict names on the board and generally running a muck.

I lost- both games.

Once the games are over we stumble back and decide that we should drink somewhere else, we chose a bar that I have been wanting to try since we moved here, there are no seats, the boys get one drink and we meet them back home where we have another bottle of wine to take the total to 3 for the night.

I don’t really remember much from that point and that doesn’t sound very wild but we continued to run around like crazy people, tackling each other and hitting one another.

Shit just escaltes with us. Always.

That was our first night out together as The Shady Bunch, with no other people just the 6 of us and it was so needed.
















Sleep. is not coming again but for a different reason tonight. 
usually i am just not tired enough or i am thinking about all things that i still want to achieve while i am over here, the things i am still to see and the time that i have left to do it in.
Tonight was different. I dont know why, it just was. 
When i find it hard to sleep i watch something,  check my facebook and all that shit but i havent written in a while, its what i used to do before i travelled to get things off my mind and clear the slate. 
An email from a friend is now keeping me up. How do you ever console someone from a computer screen? Tell them that Death is apart of life and yes it's true and it will inevitably happen to everyone but it all comes down to time.
I would like to say that time heals all wounds but i am not sure that it does, maybe the feeling you felt will numb and come time again when you lose someone else just as important in your life those stitches you used to close the last wound will be torn right back open again.
All of a sudden i lie in bed thinking how trivial all my 'problems' were in comparison to anothers.
It is the circle of life and i hate that i forget how easy it is for something to be taken away.
While there is still so much to be seen and done i am proud that i am not taking things for granted. This is all i have, this time and while i am missing a lot from back home... my nephew or just generally happenings i know i will look back and know that i am doing exactly what i need to be doing right now.
i dont even know if this makes sense, i just needed to write something. gather the thoughts.


To Jaymee, 
You are a pure inspiration, i like to think i am strong for how i dealt with things in my past and how i overcame them but you are leagues ahead of me.
You have strength i wish to have for my future when i have to cope with what you have been through and are continuing to go through every day.
I love you. I am thinking of you.







Lachlan Alexander Scott

The Cutest baby going round.




Is it a rule of the universe that guys can sense when you are not thinking about them so they automatically appear or text?
I swear it always knocks me off my feet and i happens to be one of the most annoying things that can actually happen.







Life

Where do you find the words to console someone from the passing of a loved one.
When someone loses a life even if you don't know them or they are a friend of a friend or someone from the same area, your heart automatically stops.
That could be your father or sister or brother, It could be your best friends sister.
It doesn't matter but either way it makes you think when is it my turn?.. my turn to lose a loved one and when it is my turn how will i ever deal with it?
I know that it is life but it takes you back to the thought that we all take it for granted, our problems are never as big as they seem and we need to remind ourselves of that.


Last night a old school friends sister was killed in a car accident.
Today my brother and his wife had a baby.
Life is so fragile.






·         Have a firm handshake.

·         Look people in the eye.

·         Sing in the shower.

·         Own a great stereo system.

·         Keep secrets.

·         Never give up on anybody.

·         Always accept an outstretched hand.

·         Be brave.

·         Whistle.

·         Avoid sarcastic remarks.

·         Choose your life’s mate carefully.

·         Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

·         Lend only those books you never care to see again.

·         Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

·         When playing games with children, let them win.

·         Give people a second chance, but not a third.

·         Be romantic.

·         Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

·         Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.

·         Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for our convenience, not the caller’s.

·         Be a good loser.

·         Be a good winner.

·         Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

·         When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

·         Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

·         Keep it simple.

·         Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.

·         Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.

·         Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the one’s you did.

·         Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

·         Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.

·         Take charge of your attitude.

·         Begin each day with some of your favorite music.

·         Once in a while, take the scenic route.

·         Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, ‘Someone who thinks you’re terrific.’

·         Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.

·         Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.

·         Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.

·         Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.

·         Become someone’s hero.

·         Marry only for love.

·         Count your blessings.

·         Compliment the meal when you’re a guest in someone’s home.

·         Don’t expect life to be fair

The Church

What could i possibly say about 'The Church'?
You hear the stories but you don't really understand, The Church is madness.

It is what it sounds like.. an old church, converted into a club which is only open for 3 hours on a sunday afternoon.
We went for Carlie's birthday/ Australia day.
We dressed up and started the drinking at 11am. Game on.
Every single person is in dress up and they are all drunk, oh and they are all Aussies.
What we all witnessed in that club was something we hadnt before.
There are huge screens all over the place that screen girls in the crowd until they flash the entire club, we had a black male stripper who was the biggest i have ever seen, the boys also go their more than fair share with a female stripper and contests that got girls on stage to bend over and pick up things with their teeth and no hands and strip... Boobs were definitely the flavour of the day and i imagine this is the standard.
Rachel and i thought it would be a good idea to steal peoples costumes... we got quite a loot in the end with 4 hats, 2 necklaces, 1 bandana and a fake horses head... i had to flash and kiss 2 boys in order to get this  and in any other place i would have been embarrased if that is how it went down but The Church is a different paying field where anything goes.
Boys would just walk past you and kiss you to see how it would go.. you cant pull that shit in some places.
Our four hours were up and we decided to watch Man Utd beat Aresnal, we went home and continued the drinking... we all had to work the next day but it was defintely worth it.









So it is fair to say that we cannot wait to go back.
Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself  in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care. About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there." With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, 
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you'll want to go down. In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there in the wide open air.Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And then things start to happen, don't worry. Don't stew. Just go right along. You'll start happening too.

OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up! You'll be seeing great sights! You'll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed. You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't. Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then,that you'll be in a Slump.And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're dark. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you'll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting. 



Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or the waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow.Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for the wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying You'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.With banner flip-flapping, once more you'll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't
Because, sometimes they won't.

I'm afraid that some times you'll play lonely games too.Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,Alone will be something you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl.
On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike, And I know you'll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.Just never foget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!






How about i change it up again and confuse myself with how i am feeling? yeah? sound good?
either way i am back to normal-ish.
I need to stop getting so caught up in my head, think about things properly and breathe.

Lets see how it goes.





How different this post is going to be from my last.
I have lost myself. reverting back to old habits and letting the cracks show.
I thought that i was good but maybe I'm not, my actions are definitely proving the worst and i can even explain them, i feel like i am making excuses.
The last time i did this or felt this shit was basically a year ago to date and i hate to think how i dealt with it back then because it wasnt good. It was 1 step forward and 3 steps back.
How do i break that particular habit, where do i find the strength, why do i find the need..
I am trying to be as open as i can be, will that be the difference, if i put it in writing then maybe it will take the pressure off of keeping it inside.
I literally just want to block myself off again, not say anything. I know that is not the way but its the one i want to use. My comfort zone. my stupid fucking comfort zone.







I keep meaning to write a post that sums up what is happening over here.
This part of my life has been really important for my growth and i know i sound like a massive wanker but i feel like i am finally becoming who i want to be and actually knowing it is happening is kinda cool. 
I essentially haven't changed, i will be the Tracey that everyone knows back home but improved. I have gained a new confidence over here and i have no idea how to explain it but i feel much more secure in myself then i ever have.
Take me back to 3 years ago and i would not have thought i would be living and working in London.
I really want to take advantage of everything that is happening over here, i want to go out on weeknights and see that amazing act in a Open Mic night, i want to go to the pub and watch a football match, i want to be excited when my new team wins, i want to embrace the cold, i want to have shit days over here so when i good one comes along i know i will appreciate it, i want to miss home because i need that feeling so i get back there, i want make mistakes with boys so i know what i really want.
Last year really tested me, in basically every single way right up until the end and while some very shit things happened i will only remember the ones that will impact my life for the future.. my bag getting stolen? what of it, i don't laugh at that situation and i doubt i ever will but it was such a lesson to learn and while i could have done without the heart ache i rarely even think of it anymore.
I guess what i think now is " how the fuck will i top last year?" but i guess thats not really the point is it? i could never compare last year to what this year is going to be, the only way i could would be to do exactly the same thing over again which i would never do.
I found a home i didnt think i would ever have here. I found a family in my flatmates and i am finally finding myself.









2012

New years eve!
what a night and  a night that i dont think i will be re-inacting anytime soon.
Stumbling everywhere.
It was such a love hate thing, i hated being 'that person', you know the highest person in the club but i had such a fantastic night.
Koko delivered and Dog is Dead were such an act to see.
The key is to literally hold no expectations for the night. I didnt and it was one of the best NYE's i have had in a while.
Good location, good music and good people... plus i got to see Matt shuffle.

2012 i am ready to start.



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